| T-shirt – Target | Skirt – Target | Sandals – GX by Gwen Stefani |
I know your probably wondering what social anxiety has to do with today’s outfit post. This is going to be a long post but stick with me. I suffer from social anxiety. My social anxiety has caused me to miss out on great opportunities that have come my way via Curves and Confidence. When I started my blog I never wanted to be a popular well known blogger. I wanted to create a space that allowed me to interact with other people and maintain my privacy. Well…six years later I’ve realized that if I am going to do this then I need to stop holding back. People will never truly know what a great person I am if don’t put myself out there more.
My social anxiety was another reason why I struggled with my return to blogging. I told you guys that I was over it and I just wanted to be my regular non-blogging self again. However, I had some great friends and family pushing me to continue blogging. Curves and Confidence has allowed me to connect with individuals in a way that I never imagined. My blog has helped me grow as a woman. Y’all think that it’s about me inspiring you but you guys inspire me to push myself out of my comfort zone. I want to take Curves and Confidence beyond just existing on the internet. I think I am awesome but no one will ever know that if I am always introverting inside my apartment. So instead of coming up with excuses as to why I can’t share more of myself with others. I came up with a plan to network more and meet new people offline. Of course the thought of that scared the heck out of me but I wasn’t giving in to my fears.
Through this process I’ve realized that of course I had to share information that may be helpful to others that suffers from social anxiety.
1. Dress to kill – No lie, when I go out my goal is to always be the best dressed person in the room. Y’all already know I am #TeamOverDressed. Putting on a great outfit is like applying an extra layer of confidence. Feeling great about what I am wearing eases my anxiety and allows me to focus on interacting and socializing. If I am unhappy with my outfit I will use that as an excuse to make an early exit or avoid people the entire night.
2. Introduce yourself to the host – When I attend events alone I am always worried about being approachable and making small talk. If I walk into an event and I don’t see anyone I know I immediately look for the host. The host/hostess is always welcoming and wants to make you feel comfortable. They will also introduce you to other attendees and make sure everyone is interacting. This tip may not work if the event is very large and their isn’t a designated host.
3. Give someone a compliment – Women love to talk and we love to talk about ourselves. I find that a great way to start a conversation is to give another person a compliment. I know I can personally talk for several minutes about an outfit I am wearing. This is a great ice-breaker I use when I don’t know what to say when I meet someone for the first time.
4. Check the event hashtag – There have been several times that I’ve been at events and had no clue that someone I follow on IG or someone I’ve chatted with on twitter was is in attendance. Checking the event hashtag is a great way to bring social media relationships to real life and possibly make a new friend.
5. Bring a plus one – Last but not least bring a friend. I’ve been trying to use this as a last resort. I know that if I bring a friend with me I won’t interact when anyone else. Familiarity does ease my social anxiety but if I always bring a plus one I won’t ever step out of my comfort zone. Instead I’ve been holding myself accountable for meeting new people.
Bonus tip – remember that you are not the only person that may be nervous about attending an event alone. If you see someone looking just as lost as you or sitting by themselves invite them to come sit with you or walk over and introduce yourself. They could possibly be looking for a familiar face to connect with or be interested in making a new friend.
This ties into my outfit because I wore this to Our Family Dinner Miami. Our Family Dinner is all about bringing together young adults to build a community over dinner. This just one of the many events I’ve been to in the past several weeks. This particular event made me feel like I’ve made progress with my social anxiety. I attended this event with a plus one but I did a fantastic job of interacting with other attendees. I even stood up and briefly addressed the room at one point after dinner which was HUGE for me.
The hosts of Our FamilyDinner Miami were amazing! I meet some great individuals and had a fantastic time. If you’re interested in meeting new people in your community you should check out the organization.
Do you have any socializing/networking tips that would be helpful to me? The extra extra inspiration from you guys would be amazing.
19 Comments
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing! I suffer from social anxiety also. I started a home-based business to force myself to get out more and network. It’s hard…so hard to come out of my nice comfortable home and talk to people I don’t know, but I’m doing it. Thank you for your tips and inspiration…and fabulous outfits! (Yes, I copy them, lol) You’re great!
Thank you for reading and commenting! It’s hard. I didn’t even realize social anxiety was a thing until I started doing research on being an introvert.
Thank you for sharing. My sister suffers with this as well. Love your pics, agree about about being best dressed. I love to look great in an outfit,and I’m Full Size&Fabulous!?
This was so helpful to me, Shea. I’m super anxious when it comes to attending events and meeting new people. I don’t want this to keep hindering me or my blog, so I have to make it work. Thank you for the extra push! I’m bookmarking this post so that I can commit your tips to memory.
And keep slaying with those nice looks you put together so effortlessly! ❤
I happy you found the post helpful! I need to start a blogging group for introverts so we can all help each other and link up so we can support each other locally.
Love it Shea and YAYYY your here to stay! No pressure or nothing like that, just love to see you do your thing and STYLE & SLAY! Keep it up Lady!
Thank you so much Geri! Support from you guys really keeps me going.
Iove this! Take a weekend trip to Chi-Town and let’s hang. We are too much alike!
I’ve been wanting to visit Chicago for a while. If I ever make it up that way I will let you know.
I am so feeling you on this . Like you I am a natural introvert and started my blog to help get me out there. I recently attended my 1st blog event – it went horrible, got lost, ball of nerves. To help me get over and do better next time around (peep talk to myself). My PREP post offers tips to socially navigate during an event.
I can completely relate. I use to find any excuse why I couldn’t attend and event. I didn’t want to be late, traffic or parking was a pain. We are both going to do better! Email the link to your PREP post so I can check it out.
Love this look! This is so me! Thanks for posting!
Thank you for reading and commenting!
I am so happy that you didn’t stop blogging. I am a complete extrovert trapped in an introvert mind….ha,ha! I love your site and I look forward to all the cool stuff you wear and write about!!! I used to live in Miami and if I met a cool friend like you when I was there, I would have stayed. You rock!!!
Thank you Alecia! It was touch and go for a minute but I was just running away from something I love because it would take me out of my comfort zone. I appreciate you reading my blog!
I will join the chorus of I’m glad you shared and that you didn’t stop blogging. Women, and sometimes women of color, aren’t allowed to feel what they feel and are told to be superwomen. None of us are superwomen and it’s ok to be anxious, depressed, whatever. You are allowed to be who you are and still be fabulous! It makes you who you are and we all love it!
Wow! I’m so glad I read this post. I won’t wear certain clothes because of attention and anxiety. I want to move pass this. I will use your tips. I often go to places alone and it can be kinda scary.
Okay, I had that exact picture of MJ but it was on a purse and I carried it everywhere. OH RIP MJ.
I read this post a little while ago and I checked out Our Family Dinner! They will be here in the SF/Bay Area Oct 29th! I’m going! (my first time) I’m REALLY looking forward to it! Thank you for sharing! I really like your blog and pinterest! I’m always looking for cute outfits that hug and flatter my curves!! <3