Have you seen Issa Rae’s new show Insecure on HBO? I was so hype when I heard about her series being greenlit by HBO.  I am a huge fan of her YouTube series The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl.  Before I was Ms. Curves and Confidence I was an awkward young lady that felt like I never fit in anywhere, not knowing at the time that not fitting in is perfectly okay.

HBO Insecure is about a “modern-day black women are usually portrayed as strong, confident and “flawless.” But Issa and Molly are definitely not “killing it.” These best friends must deal with their own real-life flaws as they attempt to navigate different worlds and cope with an endless series of uncomfortable everyday experiences.  Created by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore, the comedy series Insecure explores the black female experience.”

A Diva Moms JourneyThis synopsis of the series is directly from the web series page.  After reading this I really wondered if black women really are being perceived as “flawless”?  I know we are magically but far from flawless, lol.  Instead of pondering on this question alone I reached out to two of my friends to get their thoughts on the show.

First up we have Kerissa, The Diva Mom.  Kerissa has been mentioned on this blog several times. She’s a high school educator and a mom to a wonderful son.  She’s also a Delta that is dedicated to her community. Oh, and did I mention she blogs? You can check her out at A Diva Moms Journey.

Winter Raven PhotographyNext up, we have Winter.  You guys may remember Winter from this post. Winter is a South Jersey & South Florida based photographer that specializes in custom teen and senior portraiture, creative concepts and professional work for artists, entrepreneurs and business professionals. She also created Snap This Life and blogs at This Life of Mine.

Have you ever felt like the token black girl at work or school? Did you feel like you had to live up to a certain standard?

Kerrissa: Yes, many years ago I worked in an architect association. I was the only melaninated sister there. I could sense the expectation was different because of one of my coworkers wore overalls to work and this wasn’t on a Friday but there was a strict professional dress code. Even though I work as an educator today and the field is diverse, there’s still a different standard for us and them. There was a time I attempted to fit the mold now I’m older wiser and more comfortable.

Winter: I have not been the token black girl but I am the youngest of the 3 black women in our office, so I’m often the “go-to” for questions about “black things”. I don’t feel like I have to live up to a certain standard but subconsciously I believe that if I didn’t (work there) I wouldn’t be viewed the same way.

Issa’s has a live-in boyfriend but she is clearly not feeling him! Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship?

Kerrisa: Yes, with a guy who had potential but wasn’t living up to it but only for a quick minute. I’ve always enjoyed experiences outside of what would appear to be the norm if you were to look at my background and bank account. One night after dining with some friends he told me he didn’t feel comfortable in my circle (Nicca whet?! – don’t include my reaction lol). I knew that we weren’t going to work. If I had accepted him as he was that should have been enough. He was “insecure”.

Winter: Yes. On more than one occasion. When I was younger, I spent 7 years with the guy I dated in high school and eventually had a child with. I outgrew him immensely and stayed much longer than I should have. I was young and had spent my late teens and early 20’s with him.  So it was hard to just let go of something I’d known for so long, even though the relationship was adding no value to my life. In my late 20’s, when I guess I could or should have known better.  I made some poor choices and spent a year that seemed like five with a guy that I shouldn’t have been with in the first place and didn’t feel fulfilled by in the least. I felt stuck but finally got the nerve up to tell him to kick rocks. Thank God for delivering me! LOL.

Do you think Insecure will positively impact black women?

Kerrisa: I can’t say this early in the game. I wasn’t a fan of the hip hop or excessive profanity but I’d like to see another episode or two in hopes that living as a single black woman will be explored more and not from a negative angle.

Winter: Hmm… I have to see a few more episodes to honestly answer that, but I do think that the mere presence of a black show featuring an everyday kind of black girl and the very real (big and sometimes small) issues that we go through is a breath of fresh air. That in itself is powerful and is a positive thing. Most of our parents grew up never seeing black people on TV. let alone starring in our own reality based shows. So, actually, my answer is yes. It’s good to see us portrayed on television in a light that isn’t stereotypical and that so many of today’s black women can relate to. I do, however, think they could tone down the abrasive language and it would still be just as real and funny!

Have you ever felt like your p***** was broken? If so how did you get it back in working Order?

Kerissa: Nopaahhh.  My China is still fine and on the shelf waiting to be unwrapped on my wedding day/night.

Winter: Um, nope!!

I love that these ladies were so candid with their answers.  As you can see they can relate to few of the issues that Issa and Molly are going through.  I am not sure where this perception of black women being flawless came from but I know we are out here making it happen every day even if we don’t get it right on the first try.

Have you watched the first two episodes of Insecure? If so, what are your thoughts?

P.S. Don’t forget to check out Winter’s event happening January 2017. I’m the featured blogger!


  1. I LOVE this show! It’s one of my favorites on TV now (this and Atlanta)! I’m just going to go through and answer your questions: Yes! I have felt like the token Black Girl. Living in Minnesota, I consistently find myself being one of very few, and most times, the ONLY POC, on a team or in a department at work. It’s sometimes disheartening. Being a woman, and being Black, I am the diversity :/ I’ve never felt stuck in a relationship. I’ve been married for almost 15 years now (together for 19), and it has it’s ups and downs, but never stifling. Before my husband, I left dudes with the quickness! LOL! In my opinion, the show will most definitely affect Black women on in a positive way (both on and off screen). Normally, Black women have been represented as either super negative, the bubbly/sassy friend, or extremely successful. We couldn’t just be regular and live our lives (good and bad). Girlfriends and Living Single were the only two shows that I could think of, in decades of television that showed our range and did it well. Me and my friends have potty mouths when we’re with each other, so the cursing is real to me. I know the ladies in the feature were not all the way with it, and I figure they’re not alone. I can see how it could be off-putting to some.

    • Thank you so much for responding to all of the questions. Cursing is real to me too, I probably could do a little better but…lol.

  2. How could I forget the “broken p****” question?! LOL! Nah. Nothings broken over here! There’s no such thing! Folks just need to get their acts together! HA!

  3. I love the responses to the questions. Thanks for sharing this! I have not yet watched the show, but have it recorded and plan to watch this weekend.

    And just to answer one of the questions, yes. I have often felt like the token black girl. I had my first taste of this back in 1st grade when I was the only Black Girl in my class. It wasn’t that bad back then, but as I got older I also found myself being the only Black Girl in a lot of rooms. As a young woman, it was a bit disheartening. But yet and still, I did my thing and rose to the top!

    Thanks again for sharing!

    • Thank you for your comment Nic! Have you watched the show yet?

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