I recently experienced a major setback at work and I didn’t handle it well. I went through three phases. Blame: I had a hundred reasons why I was in my current circumstance and none of them involved me. Anger: I felt defeated and disappointed that I had let down several people. Recovery: It took a while but I finally realized that holding on to blame and anger would only prevent me from moving forward and learning from my experience.
Everyone has setbacks and I am sure this won’t be my last one. However, moving forward I won’t let my setbacks define me but instead learn from them and come back stronger. Accepting responsibility for my actions hard. I literally was kicking and screaming that it wasn’t my fault. I was convinced that everyone else had failed me. In reality, while the situation was chaotic I was not giving my best effort and It took me a while to admit that. Of course, now that I am a few months past the situation hindsight is 20/20.
Hopefully, none of you will have to deal with a setback anytime soon but if you do I have compiled a few suggestions on how to get back on the path of recovery.
Ownership
What went wrong and why? You are responsible for your actions or inaction. If you need help or guidance ask for it. It’s your responsibility to put forth your best effort. Anything beyond your control inform your supervisor.
Forgiveness
You messed up, it’s ok. Forgive yourself for whatever happened and move on. Don’t wallow in your current situation.
Feel all the Feelings
Pretending you aren’t upset or hurt won’t allow you to move on. Take time to process what happened so you can work on coming back stronger.
Connect
Who is your go-to person? Not someone that is going to throw you a pity party but a person that will help you realign and figure out a solution to minimize the impact of your setback.
Plan
What’s your next move? Plan your comeback. Use your setback as a stepping stone for progression.
Act
Get to work! It’s time to put your plan into action. Rebuild your confidence and the trust of those that work with you and alongside you.
Once you are back on track take time to reflect and ask yourself what are the takeaways from your situation. What did you learn? How can you prevent this from happening again? Do you have a support system and resources in place?
While my setback at work had the potential to be catastrophic I had a support system that believed in me. I was giving the opportunity to take ownership and come back strong.
I am working daily at bettering myself, I’d love to know how you’ve worked through a tough situation that life has thrown your way.
5 Comments
I’m not the best at dealing with setbacks, and it’s not that I deal with them terribly, I just literally don’t deal with them. I put them in the back of my mind because I’m too proud to give it attention only to go through those phases you mentioned much later on when I was supposed to be over it already. Definitely gonna follow your advice next time and allow myself to deal with it when it happens, it’s much healthier that way.
You have to accept it so you can move past it. Not dealing with the issue can only cause further problems. Trust me I learned this the hard way, don’t be like me lol.
Bravo to you! Your response to your setback is smart and mature . . . and is evidence of high self-awareness. Thank you for sharing your experience and advice with the group. EVERYONE experiences set-backs, and when we don’t talk about them, we are each left feeling like “I am the only one facing this challenge.”
And I really like today’s outfit. 🙂 Keep up the good work — on all fronts.
I wasn’t always this self-aware. I had my own struggles to make it to this point in my life. I definitely want to share more of my experiences because I know we all have the same struggles. Thank you for commenting!
Thanks for sharing your experience! I was laid off in January due to restructuring but it was also because I was one of the least productive and always making mistakes. I was angry at myself because I knew the job wasn’t a good fit for me, but the pay was great! So I hung in there while only performing on a mediocre level. Yep, I blame everyone else after each mistake, but the time off has allowed me to reflect on what I wasn’t doing and what my next steps should be. Setbacks are not a bad thing. They’re meant to make you stronger, but they can break you if you don’t respond correctly. You’re so right when you say that you should surround yourself with a great support group. It’s important that they’re people who will be your cheerleaders but also be truthful with you in your growth. I wish much success for you and all the other followers. Let’s see our setbacks as set-ups for the next big thing!