Blogger Blues

It’s been over a month since I posted anything.  I just haven’t been in the mood.  I seriously have had the blogger blues.  No exaggeration but the last couple of times that I’ve taken pictures have been disastrous.  Okay, that was probably an exaggeration but the photos have not been to my liking. I am SUPER picky and I will not post anything that is below the standard that I’ve set for myself.  Y’all know I like to be transparent and sometimes everything doesn’t come together how I want.  I may love the outfit but hate the pictures.  I may love the pictures but not care for how I styled the outfit.  Hell, I may just think I look fat and don’t wanna be bothered with posting at all!

I also felt very indifferent about blogging after I was selected at The Fashion Bomb Daily Bomb Blogger, check out the post here.  I was super geeked to be chosen and I was beaming at all the wonderful things that post mention about my blog.  However, with the good comes the bad and there were some not so nice comments.  I shrugged it off but it still bothered me that people take time to speak so negatively about others.  It’s like we’ve become a society of negative Nancy’s.  I know that everyone won’t love my style or care for my outfits.  I get it, I’m not for everyone but why say something online you wouldn’t say to my face?

I’ve also been turned off by this “new blogging” which seems to be this money making, branding, marketing, I’m internet famous monster.  Apparently, if you aren’t making a few stacks a month from your blog then you’re pretty much a failure.  On the flipside there are a ton of “blogging coaches” that will teach you how to become a superstar blogger and make the big bucks as long as you’re willing to spend that cash!

With that being said I had to think about why I started blogging and go back to my original vision of being a curvy and confident inspiration for other women.  I need to get out of my own head, relax and get it done.

  • Renea

    Well I really enjoy your blogs! I was wondering what happened to you. Queens don’t swat flies – keep doing what makes you happy and don’t be so hard on yourself.

  • Lawrence Todd

    OK this one time I will comment … I normally don’t … you’re doing a great job. You’re outfits are beautiful and you are an inspiration to “curvy” women everywhere. I have personally referred your blog to women in my life as an example of how to dress their curves in a very classy way. Don’t give up they need you to stay strong and stand your ground. You are a blessing to many

    • Thank you for your comment!

  • aww – don’t let those folks get to you. they wish they could do half of what you do. i like your blog and i’m not a curvy girl – but i honestly like the way you style your outfits – conservative with a flash of vavoom! it works. Anyhow sometimes breaks are necessary; i’ll be here when you return.

    • Thank you and I have new outfits ready for you guys!

  • Andrea Webster

    I love this post and I wrote something silimar awhile back. I realized alot of people now won’t support you unless you are Making money and have only 10 k and better following so it does become discouraging at times but I had to realize why I started blogging and where it has taking me and my journey. It is also good to take breaks from time to time to regroup and refocus. So take your time and shake the haters off.

    • Blogging seems chaotic now. I’m not against someone making money from something they are good at but I can’t get over how EVERYTHING has become “eff you pay” or “I’m not accessible unless you pay for my time” or “learn how I made $2,500 this month from my blog”. Blogging is a great way to make money but for me it needs to be organic and I don’t want to alienate my readers by shoving anything down their throats.

  • Katrine

    I have enjoyed reading your blog for a few years and I find you and your beautiful outfits very inspiring. Please don’t let the negative comments get to you, it is the people behind the comments who have a problem, not you. Your blog is refreshingly authentic, personal and real!
    Lots of love from Norway 🙂

    • I always receive the best comments and emails from you guys! I try not to let the few that aren’t always so nice bother me but when people are so blatantly mean it does sting sometimes.

  • Mary

    I love your blog and I know the exactly how you feel I get that way sometimes but than i remember why I started and everytime I start having those thoughts something happens to encourage me to keep going !

    Mary

    http://curlybyrdiechirps.blogspot.com/2016/06/maxi-to-maximum.html

  • Nick

    I just read the negative comments. You know what? Everything ain’t for everybody. Your blog is called Curves and Confidence and you exude that. I’ve played with wanting to blog (in my head) but I wasn’t ready to put myself out there because of the negative blogosphere. You have been brave enough to start a great blog for the everyday woman. We all can’t be in full face makeup with Gucci and Prada, like others portray on their blogs. You keep doing you. If your heart is telling you to stop blogging then do it. You have to stay true to you. Sending you love and good thoughts. Nikki.

    • I’m not ready to stop yet! I still have a lot of love for blogging still in me. Thank you Nikki 😉

  • Stephanie Ashford

    I love your fashion style, ignore those unhappy negative bloggers

    • Thank you Stephanie!

  • linda

    Keep blogging and ignore those cowards I’M sure all your readers will agree with me when I say we love your sense of style and confidence you have helped me step out of my comfort zone of wearing an outfit that I never would’ve come up with on my own or something that I didn’t think would work on my body type. So keep being your confident, stylish beautiful self.

    • Thank you Donna your kinda words are awesome!

  • EXACT. SAME. FEELINGS. Lately, I have been doing what I think is great at blogging . . . but then I start comparing myself to other Denver bloggers with 70k followers on Instagram or their constant invites to brunches and trunk shows and things and I start to get down on myself. But dammit, I have a job! And I love my real job and I am good at it. I started blogging as a fun hobby and that is what it will remain as. I have to keep my focus. Thanks so much for posting this and I hope you keep blogging forever because I have always loved your blog!

    • Frannie! You have always been a great supporter of my blog and I appreciate it! Like you I love being a business professional so I completely understand. It is sometimes hard to see these other bloggers get all the accolades when you feel like you are equally fabulous and can offer the same if not more.

  • hidaya

    Don’t let them see you sweat. If you think your blog is stressful, imagine Oprah or Michelle Obama’s stress! Shoot, Hillary Clinton is so very stressed right about now! LoL

    Get encouraged, stay encouraged!

    • Thank you Hidaya! Lol.

  • Deimara Macon

    I absolutely love your blog. I’ve followed you to the point I feel like I know you! Please keep blogging. Those who have negative comments clearly steed unhappy and you know what they say, misery loves company. So don’t let it get you down. Heck you’ve “helped” me put together a slamming outfit a many day and wear it w/confidence. At the end of the day you’re an inspiration. So keep your head up and continue inspiring😉

    • Thank you Deimara, I am so glad that you’ve been inspired by my blog.

  • Barbara

    Hi Ms. Shea. I found your website some time ago when you used to post your thrift store finds. That’s when I started going to the thrift stores and found many many deals! I am a seamstress and re-fashioner! You have really helped me a whole lot! I have used just about all of your style fashions and outfits and re-created them! I even re-did my entire closet. I was the matchy-matchy type and now I put colors together and try them out! The young ladies at my church call me the Mother Diva! I miss you when you don’t blog and love your style of dress! You are a beautiful woman inside and out..Keep looking up…that’s where all you help, encouragement and courage come from! The Lord! Take care!

    • That’s so awesome Barbara. Thank you so much for your kind words.

  • Shea, girl you are fabulous. But, yes, I agree with you on this blogging business coach epidemic. Keep your passion, your message, your confidence, and your focus and continue to do you. Those comments sting, but you are correct in saying that they would never say it to your face! Stay fab, Sis!

    • Thank you Eryn! And I think you are equally fabulous and authentic.

  • donna

    I love your blog and have found your style fun and inspiring. Please don’t let the naysayers keep you from being yourself, cuz that’s the most important thing!

    • Thank you Donna!

  • Regardless of if you are in it for the fortune and fame or not, your blog is a breath of fresh air to your fans. I think we follow you because of who you are and how honest you are in your blog. Not because of how many sponsored post or paid recommendations you make! Keep doing you boo. Your REAL fan base will continue to be there!

    • Thank you Jada!

  • First …. I love your blog. Always fresh and transparent. I’ve read so, so many that read/look like a walking commercial …. very un-authentic. That said, I want to know when the internet become a place to constantly put people down? If you (general) don’t like something….then gosh-darn it…move along. Way too much time is spent nitpicking, being critical and petty negativity. Continue to let your light shine doll.

    • I normally don’t care but people seem to think it’s okay to say whatever they think because they are behind a keyboard. It’s just rude and careless to me. Thank you for your support it let me know that what I do doesn’t go unnoticed.

  • Harper

    Yep…you gotta remember why you started! I used to follow a lot of blogs and I can not tell you how many ladies have taken “a break” in the last year because it’s not fun anymore. It was all fun and games until the internet was flooded with those who were willing to do anything for a dollar or become the next superstar. I also can not tell you how many times in last 6 months I have read posts similar to yours! Stay true to you and you’ll be fine and more people than you know will still be hanging in here with you.

    • Thank you Harper. I love your name it’s so elegant!

  • Davara

    I love the skirt! Who makes it?

    • It’s from H&M.

  • Chonda Hardin

    Shea find the blessing in every thing you do. You must be doing something right for negative haters come in just like the devil to steal, kill and destroy. Keep up the great work you do!

    • Thank you Chondra, I will keep on pushing!

  • Takeema Antoinette

    Shea is such an inspiration to the advantage women, her look is stylish and classy. The pieces she selects are absolutely beautiful and well put together. I love that she doesnt wear makeup, dont need it, her skin is flawless ( Yesss Zoom in ladies) From one curvy to another, keep on blogging Shea, I truly look forward to seeing your fabulous self. You got this Hun!

    • Thank you Sis you are the best! Love you.

  • Kiea

    Giiiiiilrrrrl! I know easier said than done but whatever you do do not allow the negative comments of miserable bitties weight shit!!!! I just became a makeup artist. I get a negative comment every single time I post. I work out and post my results. I get a negative comment every single time I post. I’ve understood that it’s more a reflection of that person than me. I’m choosing to take my time out of my morning to try and encourage you. Spread love. Do you know how sad it would be if I was saying something nasty to you this early in the morning? It’s like who wakes up bitter? A bitter, miserable person. And that’s sad all by itself. You will never be for everyone and that’s ok. But you do need to be for everyone in regards to still staying and doing what you do best. I’ve always been encouraged by your blog. It’s more of us than there are them! Bitter bitties. I can’t stand them but they will never stop me. The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. That doesn’t mean our lives cause he can’t touch us. But our visons, dreams, aspirations and goals. Don’t let a bunch of country internet gangsters that don’t even exfoliate their skin who doesn’t even know they are being used by the devil to stop your grind and your gift honey!! Stay slaying!!

    • HAAAAAA! This comment has me dying. You are the MVP for sure, lol. Thank you Kiea.

  • ESmackum

    Girl, don’t worry about those comments. You still have plenty of loyal followers who love you! I personally started following you because you are one of the few bloggers who is shaped like me and actually wear clothing that I can afford. When I see outfits on you, I’m like… Ooooh, that will actually fit me too….lol. Keep up the awesome work.

    • Thank you! When I hit the lotto I will still post my outfits from F21, Target and H&M. I promise, lol.

  • Lynn Banks

    Hi Shea, I’ve been a silent follower of your blog for a couple years now. I stumbled across your blog during one of my late night can’t sleep internet surfing sessions. Unfortunately, everyone is not going to love your blog or your style. But you have a bunch of ladies like myself who love it. I know those negative comments hurt, but you have to keep moving forward and not let that stop you from doing what you love. I personally love that you keep it real, you share your insecurities and allow yourself to be vulnerable with your readers. You’re a “REAL WOMAN” sharing your “REAL FEELINGS” and everyday is not a good day, and I love that you don’t mind saying so. Reading your blog has encouraged me to try looks that I wouldn’t dare do so before. Plus I love your shoe game, I’ve went out and searched for quite a few pair I’ve seen you rock. Stay true to who you are. You’re inspiring a lot of women to step outside the box and try something new and different. Thank you for helping me and a lot of others to embrace our Curves and Confidence.

    • Thank you Lynn! I need you silent followers to chime in more. Let me know your out there so I make sure what I am doing is appreciated. It’s hard out here sometimes, lol. No but seriously thank you for your encouraging words they mean everything to me.

  • Lindsey Denning

    Hi Shea! I never comment on blog posts or anything like that, because I am terribly shy. I stumbled onto your blog, and have been following you for some time now. Please know that you are an inspiration to me. Your style seems to be so classic and effortless. I am a little more conservative in my fashion choices, and your blog is right up my alley, particularly with your work wear posts. And as mentioned earlier, it’s actually affordable and accessible. Please, feel free to take your time and heal from the negativity, but don’t stop what you do – it keeps timid people like me inspired 🙂

    • Thank you Lindsey. My style is certainly something that anyone can obtain. I love to shop and look great I just don’t have unlimited funds to do so. I am regular working professional like most women but I want to look and feel like a superstar everyday.

  • KEH

    You are beautiful! You always look nice and your clothes always fit so nicely. Unfortunately we live in a day where people, often because of their own insecurities, look for opportunities to tear others down. Be encouraged:)

    • Thank you so much! I just want everyone to feel great about themselves.

  • Cococure

    I, like quite a few of your readers, am a silent reader/admirer of your blog. I was introduced to your blog by another blogger’s site and subscribed to yours right away. I enjoy your sense of style and the hint of playfulness you bring to your overall conservative style. For me, your style is accessible to the everyday working girl that wants to show her personality through her wardrobe (and look put together). I consider myself an introvert also, but I like to show what’s on the inside through my clothes. The dresses you wear have inspired me. The crops, the skirts, and the colors are all great to me. The beauty of this blog world is that there is something for everyone. While there may be some edgier bloggers out there, when i try be inspired, it comes out all wrong, because I couldn’t see myself in it anyway. You have a space. And we, your readers, believe in you. Sorry so longwinded.

    • Sandra

      My purpose this morning was to post a comment, but after I read your comment, everything that I wanted to say had been eloquently said by you. Great job! Shea, please continue to be a source of inspiration (not only as a fashionista but also as intelligent, goal-driven, successful woman of color) for so many of us. Your poise, grace and fashion sense is irreplaceable.

      • Cococure

        Aww, thanks.

      • Thank you Sandra!

    • Thank you for this amazing comment! You are right there is space for everyone and I will not let other people take me out of my comfort zone because I am ok with my personal style.

      • Cococure

        You are soo welcome!

  • Kanika Nikki Utley

    Hi Shea!!! Not sure how else to email you but I’d love to feature you in my digital publication BFW Magazine: Beauty, Fitness & Wellness for Women. I’m looking for an article that helps women with curves to embrace their bodies all while caring for their health. If interested, please email me kanikautley1973@gmail.com

  • Tasha

    Hey Shea! I love your blog. Your pics and style is great. I follow you on IG and love when you post about your workouts and fitness. You talk about real life things and situations and again your fashion style is incredible. I love your simplicity but cuteness, you show simplicity can still be stylish and beautiful. I admire you. Please keep blogging. You have valued supporters.

    • Thank you Tasha. I’m not going anywhere I was just in my feelings for a moment and thinking too much about what I “should” be doing. Thank you for your comment and being a loyal reader.

  • Shelley Jones

    You were one of the first fashion blogs I followed and I’ve always loved your style. I completely agree with you about this “new blogging” style that is all about “getting them coins” and getting followers, I don’t like that at all. Please keep doing you and posting your cute outfits.

  • Naturally Nicky

    Listen you are not alone. I was featured a few years back on the Fashion Bomb Daily and I received some of the most rudest comments I have even seen. It tried to get to me but I didnt let it bc they dont know me and it definitely was not the truth.

  • Hi Shea- I started following your blog after your Bomb feature. I love your style!! It’s hard to not let the negative stuff cloud your accomplishments and your great feature. You gained a new reader in me!

  • Garlic7girl

    Please do just what you said. Seriously, I think everyone in their career no matter what is it goes through that. Why am I doing this? I am in the health field and went into it because I want to empower people but others…want high marks, high praise and excellent performance values. Oh and did I mention no mistakes?? Those are okay to aspire but did we forget we are to help the person in the meantime??? So yes go back and reflect and accept constructive, loving and gentle criticism only. Those that want to better you. Remember why you are doing this. There are women out there who need someone just like you in their corner!